Before I was with my first real girlfriend, I was feeling extremely risk-happy one night and I asked her in a text if she liked being spanked. This was before we had so much as kissed. To my surprise and glee, she said she loved being spanked. At first, I thought this meant she must be a spanko like me. As I got to know her better, though, I discovered that she really didn’t like spanking the way I did.
First, I quickly found that she didn’t like to talk about it much, but that certainly could have been the case with a serious spanko if they were just shy. But digging deeper it seemed she just didn’t have much to say on the subject. Once we were together, I discovered what she really meant was she liked to have her ass slapped occasionally, especially before or during sex.
While I had heard of spanking during sex before, I had never really appreciated how many people were into it but not especially interested in spanking as a pure concept or in other contexts. In learning of this phenomenon, I also think I learned a lot about myself by contrast. This solidified my understanding of the degree to which my interest in spanking was more than a purely sexual thing, and how important this was to the way I defined myself as a spanko. Of course, I was happy to spank my girlfriend during sex, but I did not view her as a spanko in the sense I apply the word to myself.
I wish I knew how many people who say they like spanking are into it in the way that I am. I suspect my group is smaller within the general population, but is much larger among readers of spanking blogs. This distinction is crucial to getting a true picture of the prevalence of spankos, and I am unaware of any scientific polling or other research that addresses it, though I’d be happy if I were wrong about this.
I’d be especially interested in reader comments on this subject.